


A Bedtime Story

by AJWmagickl



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: AU, I might be on pain medication, M/M, longest run on sentence in a fan fic award goes to..., yes this is really about rabbits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 00:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8689387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJWmagickl/pseuds/AJWmagickl
Summary: Yes, this really is a sweet fluffy bunny walking dead bedtime story, literally. So put on your PJ's, grab a pillow and gather 'round, my sweet dumplings.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CanonCannon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanonCannon/gifts).



> Sweet baby Jesus in heaven, y'all, I just don't know. 
> 
> This story was inspired completely by accident by CanonCannon, who I've never met, who writes great fics so y'all read em, who has done nothing to deserve this but yet, at whose feet I lay the blame. Because I COULDN'T LET IT GO. I'm so sorry. 
> 
> Also, I apologize for all the caps but I can't get the italics to work. 
> 
> And also again, this was written in an hour and is unbeta'd so...you know the drill. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead, it's characters, sweet baby Jesus, or any rabbits.

Once upon a time, there was a very very very very grumpy rabbit named Daryl Dixon. 

Now, Daryl was not grumpy because he was hungry (because even after the humans all became bitey, there were still plenty of tasty plants to nibble on), and he was not grumpy because he didn't have any friends (because he had lots of them, and they loved him and he loved them). 

No, Daryl the bunny was grumpy because another bunny named Paul had this annoying habit of driving Daryl absolutely batshit fucking crazy.

Paul was new to the family of rabbits that had sought shelter together when the human world collapsed. Before, the bunnies lived very happily on a farm, where they were fed and watered and cared for. They even had their own little bunny hutch to live in. 

Sure, once in awhile the humans would come and take one of them away forever, but those remaining were certain that the taken bunny must've been very very good, and was rewarded with an even better bunny hutch on an even better farm somewhere far away, where it was never cold and there were no coyotes trying to sneak into their pens at night to gobble them up. 

But then, suddenly, it was PEOPLE trying to gobble the bunnies up. 

It happened quickly. One morning, the farmer and his wife fed all the animals on the farm as usual. But by dinner time, the farmer and his wife had become real growly and hungry. The bunnies watched in terror as the humans who had once cared for them ate Cuddles the pig while she was right there in her pig pen, squealing like a...um...pig. 

Then they ate Bob & Stookey the goats, and while they were eating, more real growly and hungry humans showed up and started in on the chickens. When the chickens were reduced to nothing but a pile of feathers, the people sunk their teeth into Buttons the horse, and the bunnies started to realize they might be in serious trouble. 

Because you see, although bunnies have small feet that help them move really fast, they also have small brains. So it took them awhile to get what was happening. 

But once they figured it out, they hopped into action. 

Daryl, being a highly resourceful bunny despite the size of his brain, immediately began to dig in the soft dirt at the base of the fence that surrounded the hutch. 

"Daryl!", cried Rick, the bunny leader. "We need to dig a hole under the fence!"

Rick looked majestic as he shouted the order, his curly rabbit hair blowing in the breeze (because he was a curly rabbit), the gray star-shaped pattern on his chest standing out starkly against his white fur. 

Then, of course, Rick realized that Daryl had already started digging, and ran to help, barking orders to the other bunnies in whatever the hell way rabbits bark. Because they don't actually bark. They kinda just sniff really loud although they I've heard they scream if you kill them so eww but they don't talk either so let's just go on with the story, shall we?

Anyhoo, using his powerful front legs that were much stronger and handsomer than any of the other bunnies' front legs, Daryl dug and dug until the hole was deep and wide enough for the bunnies to slip under the fence and run like the friggin' wind away from the humans. 

It turns out there were LOTS of growly, bitey humans everywhere. They roamed for awhile, fleeing the hoards of bitey people, and then fleeing the other humans that had guns and bows and shot at them. But they weren't all lucky. 

They lost bunnies. Like Dale, who was always good at steering them in the right direction, until once he turned the wrong direction and ended up in a growly's mouth. And like Tyreese, who lost his front paw and just couldn't run fast enough to escape the growlies anymore. 

Then they lost Herschel, the oldest and wisest among them, to a hunter's blade, and little crazy Lizzie, who ate a batch of poison flowers because she was crazy. 

Now, some of the bunnies WERE lucky, like Eugene who irritated the living hell out of everyone while still managing to get them to save his life over and over and over, even though they never could figure out how he did that (because again, small brains). 

And some of them were just really good at surviving, which is unusual for bunnies, but still. 

Michonne, who was basically a fucking RABBIT GODDESS, kept her long ebony fur in tight braids so it wouldn't catch on random shrubbery when she ran away from the growlies. 

And Maggie, a red-headed spit-fire with white spots who was also a fucking RABBIT GODDESS, kept a level head in every situation. Even with all the running and hiding, she managed to seduce Glenn, a sweet and clever little bunny who was all heart and quick feet, and they got married and lived happily ever after because DAMMIT ROBERT KIRKMAN AND SCOTT GIMPLE, THAT'S WHAT THEY DESERVED!! 

Carol's short silver fur and kind eyes kept her in everyone's favor and they watched out for her, but over time they realized she was devious and terrifying and they kept watching out for her, but only so she wouldn't kill them in their sleep. Eventually no one was convinced that crazy Lizzie wandered into that patch of poisonous flowers on her own. 

Rick led them on because LEADER, keeping a close watch on his kids Carl and Judith. Carl had one eye and kept running into trees and shit, but he was brave. Judith was a baby, but she never cried or whined because rabbits just don't do that. 

And then there was Daryl Dixon, a sort of quiet, grumpy loner bunny who was super socially awkward but quick to protect his family and very good at hearing when growlies or people were around. Daryl often stayed up and kept watch while the others slept, even though with the way his long fur grew over his eyes, no one knew how he could even see. 

And so, the ragtag group wandered, until finally they found a rather quiet, out of the way spot where humans rarely showed up. 

They lived there awhile and blah blah blah until they met other bunnies who lived nearby and blah blah blah and then they met Paul and then he started annoying Daryl immediately. 

The first thing that Daryl noticed about Paul when they met was that he liked to take things, like Daryl's carrots. And then when Daryl chased after him through a meadow, Paul dropped the carrots in a lake and they were never seen again. 

And, Paul watched Daryl a lot...like alot alot...which made Daryl uncomfortable, and after awhile it seemed like every time he looked up from whatever he was doing, or whenever he rounded a tree while on patrol in the forest, there was PAUL, watching him. The other bunny seemed especially enamored by his strong front legs, and too often Daryl caught him gazing dream-like at the scruff of gray that grew on Daryl's chin. 

What Daryl did NOT see was that Paul also spent an inordinate amount of time staring at his fluffy yet somewhat unkempt tail. Of course, everyone else noticed and snickered about it whenever Daryl passed by, which made Daryl even grumpier because he didn't know why they were snickering but he sure as damn hell knew it was Paul's fault. 

Paul was also faster and more nimble than most bunnies, and he was particularly too careful to keep his perfect chestnut fur clean and always groomed. After some questioning, Daryl found out why. 

"A CIRCUS bunny?"

"Yeah, so?"

"What th' hell is a CIRCUS?"

"Oh!", crooned Paul in that smug voice that made Daryl want to choke his stupid perfectly groomed rabbit neck. "It's like a place where people go to see especially talented bunnies. I was known as Ninja Rabbit. I could kick cardboard walls over and jump in the air and TWIST and land on my feet. The people loved..." 

Paul's voice trailed off as he noticed Daryl's highly unimpressed face.

"So..." Daryl rasped, "Yer a show rabbit? Did ya ever have other bunnies to look out for? Did ya ever help em hide in the hutch when the coyotes came? Did ya ever keep watch in the snow so they could sleep safe and sound even though your fur was in your eyes and you couldn't see a fuckin' thing?!!" 

Paul's blue or maybe green like a shallow lagoon eyes grew wide as Daryl ranted. Then they grew even wider as Daryl stopped to glare at him. Then they grew impossibly wider when a wild poodle jumped out from a nearby bush and ran right at the two of them. 

Lickety-split, Paul leapt in the air and twisted, catching the dog's attention. He landed gracefully on all fours and dashed away like lightning, so fast that the poodle ran right past Daryl without noticing him, her eyes too intent on Paul. 

Daryl chased after them both, but he wasn't as fast as Paul or the dog. He followed the tracks easily to a tiny stream, where he had to stop and use his exceptionally keen sense of smell to pick up the trail, his tiny pink nose and white whiskers twitching against the breeze. 

Finally, a low, prolonged growl led him to the bank of a short ravine. The poodle lay low on the ground, ready to pounce, and as Daryl's eyes moved along the dog's sight, he saw Paul backed right up to the edge of the cliff. 

In less than the second it took for Daryl to race from beneath the bush where he'd been hiding and run straight for Polly Poodle or whatever her name was, that bitch, the dog made a run at Paul, mouth open and fangs bared. But in less than that less of a second, Paul once again leapt.

Everything slowed down as Daryl slid to a stop in horror, knowing he was nowhere close enough to save Paul, or how he would save Paul anyway because he was a rabbit and that was a fucking DOG. 

But he watched, transfixed as Paul's lithe body flew into the air as effortlessly as a bird taking flight, his gleaming chestnut fur pulsing over strong, lean muscles. 

The dog leapt too, and as her teeth closed just out of reach of Paul's adorable little furry back foot, Daryl suddenly wondered what he would do if Paul wasn't around to steal his carrots and make him run after them even though sometimes he accidentally dropped them in a lake, or if Daryl looked up from whatever he was doing or rounded a tree in the forest and Paul wasn't there, with his blue or maybe green like a shallow lagoon eyes settled on Daryl with a glimmer that Daryl just realized might not be because he wanted to annoy Daryl but maybe he kinda liked Daryl and maybe Daryl liked him too and how could Daryl ever be happy without Paul staring at his tail every time he turned his back on him because even though I said Daryl didn't know about that he really kinda did?? 

It took a surprisingly short time for that huge run-on sentence to flicker through Daryl's little bunny brain, just long enough for him to watch sharp teeth completely miss their target. The dog's momentum carried it over the ravine, tumbling to the bottom with only a couple of yips. It landed with a thud, glared up at the two bunnies peering over the cliff's edge, huffed and walked away. (Because the dog is FINE, y'all, I'm not gonna kill a dog. I love dogs). 

Daryl looked at Paul from their perch over the ravine. The Ninja Rabbit, in all his glory, had landed with all the grace of a gazelle and was now preening his coat back into submission. He hesitated and glanced up as he realized Daryl was still staring. 

"You saved my life." Daryl spoke softly. "Why?"

Paul shifted, leaning in close to Daryl until their noses were less than inches apart. "Because you've got the cutest fluffy unkempt tail I've ever seen.", he whispered. 

Daryl closed the gap, leaning forward until their noses met, pink on pink, whiskers tangling in passion. 

"Wanna be my boyfriend?" asked Paul, his nose still on Daryl's. 

"Yeh. I'll be your boyfriend." The soft smile on Daryl's face was really weird because, as a rule, rabbits don't smile. 

They drew apart reluctantly and without speaking, moved side by side into a nearby thicket. To do what rabbits do. In thickets? Yes, I think they would do it in a thicket. 

WHAT RABBITS DO, YOU GUYS. *wink*

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Comments mean the world to me. THE WORLD.


End file.
